The Return of the Prodigal Blogger, now a B.A. in Economics

Me and my dad, who has given me every opportunity and allowed me to diverge from the beaten path. Love you, Nanna. Notice the spectacles in my right hand.

      Since my slightly premature birth, this is the first time I've ever been early for anything. I'm that friend everyone has who has no conception of time. This very post is more than a month late. It's not that I ever intend to be late to anything, and I'm an eternal optimist. It is just the way of things. Fate.

However, when I do something, I evidently do it in style. So I graduated an entire year early, much to my own shock. I lived in denial for a few months, coming up with dozens of alternate plans that involved me staying in college longer. Ultimately, the prospect of not being a student after fifteen years (not even counting my Montessori days) was too tempting. Deciding to switch from my Honors English major to an English minor was considerably harder, but the right decision for me. Donning that gown a year earlier than my fellow juniors was strange - it was rather lonely on that stage. Apart from my family being there, the whole ceremony was rather underwhelming. There was no grand commencement speech, no 'this is it' moment. I even nodded off during one of the speeches after the stress of finals week.

But just like college is more than the sum of its academic parts, graduation is more than the ceremony and certificate. It's a huge milestone.

Graduation means facing a world without timetables, exams, classes - without an overarching structure to fall into - for the first time since we were three or four years old. This love-hate relationship with the restrictions of academic life turns into alarm at the sudden liberation from mandates. Unless you plan to go directly to graduate school (I don't), the freedom that seemed so delightful when paper deadlines were looming suddenly becomes rather threatening. What am I if not a student?

It's time to find out.

Stay tuned to this space for more.

Spring 2015!

It was good to be home, but it's good to be back.

Source: http://mediad.publicbroadcasting.net/p/michigan/files/201101/SamiFLICKR_0.jpg

This year I was more prepared for winter - warmer clothes (and more fashionable, courtesy my mom), better face covering methods (never mind that I go out looking like a bank robber - sometimes you can't even see my eyes, because they get all fogged up). I have, thus warmly robed, discovered a new fascination for snow. I love the way it sparkles at night and the way each snowflake is so uniquely, symmetrically perfect (I still can't totally believe in snowflakes; intricate pieces of art falling from the sky seems such an impossibility). Sometimes (when I'm not late, which is not often), I stop and catch snowflakes on the sleeve of my coat, so that I can look at them closely before they melt into nothingness. Seems to me a bit of a cruel joke that something so beautiful cannot be preserved in its original form. And then there's the colour. Colour? What colour, you say? You, my friend, have not seen snow. Not truly, anyway. It's brilliant, luminescent, the purest of white; until you've seen snow, you've not seen a white so gleaming, so intense. It might seem strange to describe a snowy landscape as colourful, but look closely at the snow, put your face close enough so you can see it sparkle, and it is iridescent, like hundreds of tiny prisms. The cold might be bitter, but the landscape glitters. There are few landscapes that can compare in beauty to a snow covered town. I think I'm falling in love.

I guess I should have titled this 'Ode to Snow.' At any rate, snow, like spring, can only be described so much until the writer and her prose sound maudlin and purple respectively.

I've had a great time so far, and I'm really looking forward to the rest of the semester. I have six classes, which is a bit much, but I like all of them and the professors, and couldn't bear to drop one. Now that the Add/Drop period (where you can add or drop classes for the semester) is past, I'm stuck, but I'm not too worried. My favourite class so far is Islam and Literature - I'm enjoying the readings and the discussions very much. Also, the professor, Walter Hakala, is very good and very nice. I also
have Criticism, which is also shaping up nicely.

Source: http://sintoniza.com.br/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/46550.jpg

One of our assigned books is Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi, the Iranian-born French graphic novelist and director. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it. It is very well-written - insightful, touching and humorous. In fact, I missed a class because I didn't realize what time it was while I was reading it (always a good indicator of the quality of a book). I'm a TA this semester for Macroeconomic theory, which looks like it might be a lot of work, but I'm hoping that I can make it easier for the students than it was for me, and also that the professor writes me a really good recommendation. :) I'm also trying to be more involved in extracurricular activities this semester. I volunteer at an after-school program for refugee kids on Wednesdays (it's called ENERGY), I'm dancing with UB Zeal (a South Asian dance club) for UB's International Fiesta (a cultural dance competition at UB), I'm in UB Lit Club (we discuss books, movies and art), and I'm trying to start a club of my own (more on that if I succeed!). So I'm very busy (by my standards, at least), but loving it. As for how many of my non-academic activities I can keep up, only time will tell.

Oh, and a very belated Happy New Year! I can't believe it's already 2015. We're as close to 2030 now as we are to 2000.

Stepping into adulthood: the end of freshman year

Forgive me the pretentious post title, but that is exactly how it feels - as if by living somewhat independently for the past year, I have started to grow up. I feel like a vastly different person from the high school graduate a year ago - although surely one doesn't change so much in the space of one year?

My outlook has tempered a little since my breathlessly excited post last August, but I still love college. I feel as if I'm slowly coming into my own, and gaining confidence in my abilities. I feel free and happy in college. Classes, homework and tests feel far less like millstones around my neck. I've at least partially achieved what I never could in IB - the balanced perspective that tells me that a failed exam or an unfinished project would hardly be the end of the world. I perform far better without the immense pressure of the critical voice in my head asking stupid what-if questions. I've decided I take life far too seriously - and ironically, I've found that when I keep that in mind, I become closer to the person I want to be than when I let it eat at me that I'm some distance from who I want to be. One of my teachers gave me this quote when I was leaving school: You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. (AA Milne, Winnie the Pooh - and thank you, Deepa ma'am!) I'm starting to believe it.

Spring semester was a lot busier for me than fall semester. But I didn't mind, because most of my classes have been very interesting, and I've had some really good professors this year. My 'Intro to writing poetry and prose fiction' class was a blast. I've really enjoyed it, even if I have realized that writing poetry is not for me. Professor McCaffrey is a sweetheart, and his generous reception made it far easier to let go of my writing inhibitions, of which I have plenty. World Civ class reminded me how much I used to love history before I dropped it in IGCSE and IB. I might have been a little happier in IB if I'd taken history instead of business, but it's a moot point now. Reading primary and secondary documents from different periods of history and researching the Renaissance for my project have been fascinating.

Calculus has been a bit of mixed bag. The professor (Robert Busch) had quite the personality - not only is he a really good teacher, but he is also extremely engaging, and very, very funny. He is probably the funniest teacher I've ever had. Some of this stems from the fact that he isn't hesitant about doing outrageous things - like smearing chalk powder on his forehead and cheeks and shouting at the board (a war cry, see, before tackling calc).

But I did terribly on one exam when I relaxed a bit too much, and I still haven't gotten over it. Also, the realization that I will never quite be a math genius even if I do like math, pinches a little.

Geography of Economic Systems was super easy to get through - but still quite interesting. The professor, Deborah Naybor has an amazing story (check out http://www.capitalistchicks.com/?q=node/347 and http://www.averagegirlmagazine.com/members/Archive/0504Inspiration01.pdf). She is also extremely sweet, and I seriously considered going to Uganda with her this summer. It didn't work out, unfortunately, but I'm hoping I can go next year.

So I've had a wonderful but busy semester and I'm totally ready for summer. Being home is strange, though. When I came home for winter break, it felt as if the four preceding months had been a trip and I was home for good. Now, being home feels temporary. I suppose it's a sign that I've acclimated to living on my own and university, but I'm struggling with it a little. The more I get used to living in the US, the more I feel irrationally frightened that I'm becoming somehow less Indian. This has always been a struggle for me. I feel strongly rooted yet alienated because of how Western my outlook is. Even before I went to the US it was like this - after all, my consumption of books, movies, everything - is predominated by the West. Some days I would feel suddenly ashamed of how I think and express myself in English - it would feel wrong, somehow, that the language I'm most comfortable with is English and not Telugu. There is this niggling fear in the back of my head that the longer I stay and study in the US, the more Americanized I will become. Don't get me wrong - there are a lot of wonderful things about Western thought and culture - but I cherish my cultural heritage. I've resolved to start reading far more Indian authors this summer - and not just those who write in English (I mean translated regional literature). I want desperately to learn Sanskrit, and hopefully I'll find an online course that will allow me to do so. After watching the classic Missamma last winter, I want to watch a lot more black-and-white Telugu cinema. I also want to volunteer, and find an internship. I might never have managed to do all I planned to do in the summer before, but I'm always optimistic.

Most of all, it's scrumdiddlyumptious and gloriumptious to be home.

University!

I'm not sure how I'm feeling right now. Excited, definitely, because college is an adventure. Scared because it all seems so vast. In a strange land and missing home and my mom and dad. Wishing my friends were with me, that that would be all it would take to make these four years perfect. Confused, and sleepy, because I've been getting up early everyday in excitement, anticipation, and today, fear that I would be late for my first class.

College is where you bury your outdated dreams and dig up impossible ones. Where you take impractical but wildly interesting courses while assuring your parents that you're filling your 'General education' requirements. These promise to be the four most fulfilling and important years of my life.


I began writing that yesterday, but had no time to finish and post it. Mondays are the busiest days of my schedule. I have classes from 9 am to 7.50 pm, which will become 8.50 pm when my Economics 'Recitation' class starts. Crazy, right? But I have exactly one class on Friday, so I gain a three-day weekend, every weekend.

I go to every class excited about the course content, and so far nothing has disappointed. Some have even surprised. I walk about campus, from class to class, with a dreamy smile on my face, thinking of what I've learned in the last class, thinking I must look funny in the head, but unable to stop, because I am just so happy. I feel like this is what I expected learning to be like. The great freedom of picking of your own classes, picking useful and practical classes, and interesting and impractical classes, and classes you don't know about but pick because the name and course description sound interesting and you've got space on your schedule. Being able to skip classes but not doing it because it will impact your grade and the class is too interesting to want to skip. Feeling for the first time in two and a half years that there is not a single class in which I will have to fight sleep.

I've liked all my classes so far, but I found World Civilization and Reading Shakespeare particularly interesting today. The professor who taught World Civilization today (I forget his name) was old and experienced and very interesting because he had so many anecdotes to share. I will share a humorous one here.
On a trip to Mexico, the Professor (I don't think he was a professor then, and he was far younger), was assisting someone in a survey. He'd finished surveying all the tenants in a piece of land, when he finally met the owner. The owner was very friendly, and invited him in. He then asked the Prof to share a glass of pulque, a Mexican drink (made from some vegetable or fruit and non-alcoholic), which he described to us as 'baby food gone bad - an acquired taste.' To his horror, he saw black bugs all over the overflowing, foaming surface. Live bugs, to boot. But it would be unforgivably rude to refuse the drink. Another visitor had come in and was talking to the landlord, and the Prof welcomed the distraction, glad to put off having to drink the pulque (I hope I'm spelling it right). But towards the conclusion of his conversation the landlord said something to the effect of 'Salud!' or 'Cheers!' - "to which the only thing to do is drink" (the professor's words). So the Prof bravely decided to empty the whole thing in one gulp so as to get it over with. He poured it into his mouth, and the two Mexican gentlemen stared at him. They then said "Crazy American," in a baffled tone, shook the bugs off the surface, and emptied their drinks.

Barack Obama!

By the most wonderful luck, I have seen and heard President Barack Obama speak first-hand within the first month of my landing in the US to pursue my under-graduate education. Perhaps it is a sign that I will be famous and important some day?

I heard a few days back that Obama would be visiting The University at Buffalo (UB) , and signed up for a student lottery for tickets.  I received a confirmation email the day before yesterday stating that I had won a ticket. I couldn't sleep all night for excitement. We were told to reach at 9 am, but by the time I got there, at 9.02, there was a miles-long line (for the Alumni Arena, where the event would take place) extending all over the north campus. I resigned myself to a long wait, chatting with a few friends I'd made in the line, and texting a friend at the College of William and Mary. It was like waiting for darshanam at Tirupati, only, out-of-doors.

When I finally got in, at 11.00 am (and there were still a lot of people behind us) I scrambled to find a good vantage point. All the seating was full, so I sat down on the stairs. There were around 6000 people in an arena with seating for 4000. The speech was due to begin around 11.15, and there was a band playing, a large screen saying 'Welcome, Mr. President' and anticipation in the air.

We heard, first, the secretary of education, Arne Duncan, then a sophomore student giving an introduction, and finally - the president!

The crowd rose and there was a humungous amount of cheering and clapping as Obama entered the arena and got on to the stage. He hugged the sophomore student. The screen entered video mode and after the cheering died down, Obama greeted the crowd, which started them off again. It was a crowd which didn't need much prompting to clap or cheer - I missed many bits and pieces of the speech which were obscured by the boisterousness of the crowd.

The topic was 'Affordable Education', a cause for which UB as starting point made sense, as UB is one of the best 'best-value' colleges in the US. With a good education at nearly half the price of Ivy league or other top universities, UB gives 'bang for the buck' (a phrase Obama used in his speech)!

He made a lot of good points (although I am not very well-informed about American politics and the system, so I cannot really make a qualified judgment), but I thought a lot of it was well-written - or well-spoken - rhetoric. I also found myself more carried away by his oratory skills and the enthusiastic crowd than by the merit of his arguments, which I hadn't had time to consider yet.

The only concrete proposals he made were these:

1. Change the rating system so that universities are rated on how much they provide for how much money, how many students actually graduate, how many of them graduate on time, how successful they are in finding jobs and in their careers, and how much debt they graduate with, rather than what the enrollment and admission rates, and facilities are. This was something I was very much in agreement with, because I do not like the present ratings system followed by agencies such as US News and World Report. It's high time we heard of good universities that more of us can actually get into.
2. Make the environment more competitive so that universities innovate to keep costs low.
3. Make funding aid and colleges a priority for state governments.
4. Shift the focus from profits from student loans to helping with student loans.
5. Make the 'Pay as you earn' program - where the student only has to pay back 10% of his/her income (as loan repayment) every month more accessible and widespread by spreading awareness and widening and increasing eligibility.

There were a few more I think that I cannot remember, but a good summary can be found here :
http://www.buffalonews.com/city-region/erie-county/obama-trip-to-buffalo-emphasizes-ambitious-plan-to-control-college-costs-20130822

There's also a transcript here:
http://blog.timesunion.com/capitol/archives/193653/transcript-obamas-ub-speech/

Somewhere in the middle of the speech a spectator shouted something I couldn't hear as it was drowned by roaring from the crowd. I later found out that it was "Traitor, Obama! Traitor, Obama!" Obama just said "thank you" and moved on as if nothing had happened!

There was also a point where he said "I love you too," which exponentially increased the crowd's already extremely raucous cheering.

It was wonderful seeing a man of such importance speak in so informal and apparently extempore a manner. I kept waiting for him to refer to a sheet, but he never did.

The excitement wore off only when I realized I had gotten on the wrong bus back (the routes changed as the some roads had to be closed off), and had to travel all the way to the South campus and back to the North Campus (12 km overall), walk to a bus stop, get off at the right stop, and walk again to my hotel, having crossed the road three times. Then I collapsed in a chair, exhausted, with no thoughts but of food and the bed.